In Praise of Envy

Anonymous, "Heads Representing the Various Passions of the Soul; as they are Expressed in the Human Countenance: Drawn by that Great Master Monsieur Le Brun" 1765

First, a clarification. When we use the word jealousy, we usually mean envy:

• Envy = wanting something someone else has

• Jealousy = being defensive and protective of something you have (typically a romantic partner) because you feel threatened that someone will take it

Yup. Jealousy is used incorrectly 99.9 percent of the time.

In many ways, it doesn’t matter. Envy and jealousy can wreak havoc on a writer equally. They’re a debilitating mix of fear, hatred, confusion, discontent, and anxiety. Both feel terrible, causing us to ruminate and become plagued with self-doubt. Typically, we end up in a pit of compare-and-despair.

It doesn’t need to be like this. Envy, in particular, is a little blessing to be welcomed. Plenty of sages and wise people have spoken to this: Envy brings a message and can be the key to your growth as a human being and writer (the writer part is mine).

Giotto di Bondone, “The Seven Vices: Envy” 1306 — Envy is depicted as an ugly old woman with enormous ears, horns, and a snake crawling out her mouth and curling back around to her forehead. She holds a sack of money in one hand; the fire of envy burns beneath her.

Envy’s Message

Here’s how it works: Not every author who wins the Pulitzer Prize or gets a seven-figure book deal sends you into compare and despair. So why that one? Typically, it’s because you admire that writer in some way and they have something you need to deliver on your talent—and you know it.

I envy Jessica de Fino of

The Unpublishable

. Why? Because I love all her success and the way she’s shaking up the beauty industry. I love that she’s making a real difference in the world in a clever, hilarious way. She reminds me to focus on making a difference (by undermining the power imbalance writers suffer and helping them succeed on Substack) and giving readers something they can’t get anywhere else.

We envy certain writers because they have something to teach us. I envy

Carmen Maria Machado

for her boldness and truth-telling. I envy

Jillian Hess

because she has such a smart, focused Substack that delivers every time. I envy

E. Jean Carroll

for her wit and bravery and the way her voice comes off the page (or screen) and speaks into your ear.

Envy, in this form, is a beautiful thing. View it this way and the most brilliant alchemy can occur: envy becomes joy with tranquility.

Anonymous, "Heads Representing the Various Passions of the Soul; as they are Expressed in the Human Countenance: Drawn by that Great Master Monsieur Le Brun" 1765

Notice how the facial expression of joy with tranquility isn’t one of hyperbolic, exclamation-point-riddled happiness. Not happy. Just good. Just content. Just enough.

---

Replace confusion and frustration with personalized Substack guidance—explore the Single Substack Strategy Intensive or Strategic Substack Growth Package.